Ten plus one reasons to get your, no my lazy ass out of bed

Wrong foot?

Wrong foot?

No Introduction needed.

The first

Your back hurts while laying.

The second

The pets started to move their stuff over to your room, now living in your dirty laundry.

The third

I skip number three. It is disgusting.

The fourth

A spider family lives in your favorite jacket.

The fifth

You wake up and your first move is an inept grab in direction of your sunglasses waiting on the night table.

The sixth

You have absolutely no idea where to start searching for your boots.

The seventh

The rough area around your ashtray looks like a minefield.

The eighth

You write a blog.

The ninth

Your feet look like you have fallen asleep in a bathtub.

The tenth

The lights did not work for two weeks and nobody feels responsible to change the fucking bulb. Well, me neither.

Time to get shit done. An arachnoid family hast to be “relocated”, most of my clothes receive a burning and while I am at it the sheets and blankets too. I like burning stuff, has a very cleansing element. Any good suggestions what could be burned on this sunny day? Relevant aspects: The fires colour, height of flames and scent. For yet another time I will fight with the asshole living under my bed. It is strange. Saturday is always get-shit-done-day!
Oh there is an eleventh reason:
Sometimes you gotta step up the man game and fuck yourself really bad, if you collected enough energy to do so. Beat yourself to the ground and then you might find out who you really are. If not: recover and repeat. That keeps me going.
I finally quit all illegal drugs. Yeah, weed had to go, too. Got coffee now. Disgusting shit! “No, Jona It is an exquisite taste.” Fucking moron. You do it for effect, just got used to it and now lie to yourself! By the way it is really unhealthy. But who am I to judge. Smoking, the last legal way to kill yourself slowly, while having fun.
Today I feel every stupid emotion and I really, really don’t like it. Feeling shit is exhausting. How did you fed up with this all the years? I enter the bus and get fight-or-flight in an instance. What can I do? Punch random old ladies in the first row? Throwing the bus driver out and kidnapping the bus? Tried. Fat bastard was too heavy and surprisingly agile for his age and fat ass. Next time I will run away, screaming, arms above my head like that dumb kid that always gets lost in movies. What do you expect from a kid named Kevin? I don’t think I will do top tens again. They are so 90’s.

Stand upright or lay however you want in need,



3 responses to “Ten plus one reasons to get your, no my lazy ass out of bed

    • That is the plan, little girl. Fire gets shit done. Well not in the most constructive way. But few things are as good in getting rid of stuff as fire. I wish I would a pyromaniac. That would be fun weekends!

Get to my head!

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