No Retreat, only Regret

In phases like the ones I currently find myself in, I struggle to find beginnings.

My head constantly spins around my being. I can hardly focus on morphing my views into apposite remarks, words or metaphors. As I have stated, I am pretty self-absorbed. Claiming I had egocentric tendencies would be a major understatement.

In the past I weighed up to 85 Kg and down to 56 Kg. In either state I stood in front of the mirror and let naked judgment pass. The verdict: Magnificent. Right now I do not work in any way. I struggle with day-to-day tasks and duties, additionally I live of my families backing and welfare. Guess who I deem the hottest act around?

You are a pretty good guesser.

I fail to see my path, I tremble in wake of my potential. When revealed I always do. I cease to act. I become passive.

However I cannot step back. Forward is the only option I see. Recent occurrences eventuate in light of a standstill. I cannot proceed therefore I stop dead and observe. I focus on myself and am plagued by it.

I am plagued through my past, future, present and the hypothetical. A medley composed of raging lullabies and cursing ballades burning into my conscience and wreaking havoc through my powers of imagination. This is my reality, my truth. I fail to corroborate. I am in doubt evermore.

Nonetheless will there be no retreat only regret.

 

Stand upright,

Jona

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9 responses to “No Retreat, only Regret

  1. There is nothing I can say that is not said. I have no words more to add. Unusually ;)
    Thanks for sharing these thoughts…DANG!! I nearly did it, and then I JUST HAD to say something else! – pffft.

Get to my head!

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