Since the reblog function of the gallery wants to fuck with me, I will use the posting of this picture to talk a little bit about myself and what my life is like at the moment.
Done staring at this piece?
I have discovered a trait I presumably developed only recently. I became very dismissive of the abnormal, the unaesthetic, the ugly.
That manifests in a very radical and unsolicited manner.
I open a photo on Facebook for example with a face that defies visual, harmonic conformities and I click it away with a strong feeling of rejection and disgust, that I want to punch myself in the head for this attitude towards the regular.
I don’t like it. I really don’t.
What I do like is my little sister.
She increased the amount of time spending with me recently. She won’t let me chase her away no matter what. Annoying, adorable little creature that she is. If I could paint, I would paint her like an angel in the snow:
But I cannot. What I can do, is give one quote that showing her unique mind and why she is smarter still than most adults I am confronted with on an irregular basis.
As the topic arose of her impending first day at school.Sister:”When does it start?”
Mother:” 8 o’clock.”
Sister:”It won’t be feasible.” Mother:”Why?”
Sister:”That’s when I sleep you know.”
Take that school!
You are in the way of canonical human behaviour and a little child even sees bright and clear through your arbitrary failure of educational caprice.
One could think you exist only to brainwash little children into obedient little workers. But that would be evil and disgusting. And we can not have governmental institutions stigmatized as economic henchman, can we.
She spent several hours per day with me this week, despite my rundown being was or is pretty narky and a general pain in the ass, since sleep deprived and without any entertaining or useful kind of drugs. I was aggressive, loud and sadly on one occasion violent, mostly towards myself. Her response to that comportment?“Mama! Jona is a little moody today.”
That shows two things to me. She loves me no matter what and children will excuse every bad bearing of adults they adore or deem essential in their life if necessitative.
Kids are able to endure any kind and enormous amounts of challenge or harm to their well-being. That does not infer to the absent possibility of permanent damage through it. I think many do forget or willfully ignore that. Getting along in this world does not equate to healthy upbringing even if some psychologists want to convince the public to retrograde ( I wonder who paid those troglodytes ).
Some people just want to watch the world burn. Jona for his part just wants a better one. Primarily for his sister and subordinately for the children of his friends and acquaintances. Unfortunately that requires the sacrifice of other children and maybe some of the same he wants improvement for. No way to circumvent that. Some will be left behind in the process of improving shit. There is no peaceful change, when power has to be redistributed.
Today this seems laughable, melodramatic and escapist, but some day you might understand my words. Things have been set in motion. The idea is there. Nowhere to run and nowhere to hide from it.
I had to get this of my chest. I feel better now. Do you?
My sister has once said to me, as I started to ignore my survival instinct and began swimming through the sea of despair, the following:“Many problems bring many tears.
Many problems have to be allowed to pass.”
A friend thought she recited. The contrary is the case.
See you next time. I possibly share my therapists diagnosis with you.
That put aside stand upright,
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