My name is Jona,
I am in my mid-twenties and live in Germany. For over five years, I recently discovered, I think in a language that is not my mother tongue. In English. So I decided to produce everything in this language. I love music, it is one of the few things I can do despite every hindrance my stupid depressive brain throws in my way. All my life I suppressed every emotion I had, with not being vulnerable my sole goal. I was raised this way and I was raised effectively. The only thing I accepted emotions being necessary for, was love. I failed miserably and relentlessly every time. Traumatic experiences, sexual violence, psychological terror and enforced heteronomy threw me out of balance and into crisis.
I am an angry and lugubrious man, arrogant, narcissistic and self-loathing. You will explore the truth behind my words, if you continue to read my diatribe and plea.
My only catalyst through life is and was creating music. It also helps to write down my feelings, experiences and thoughts about my own inconsistency and flaws, my surrounding, society and the state of the world in general. Due to the fact that I love playing with words and a generally intelligible urge to be understood, I will publish my thoughts.
In hope this might eventually help some with similar issues or it may simply entertain others.
I am very new to blogging. So feel free to criticize or give advice. Both will be appreciated since it can only aid to my goal of radical self-improvement.
One thing I should add. If you come here to promote your idea of blog marketing or for just another follower, I can save you the time and click. I read rarely and socializing is not my thing. I do that from time to time, but also rarely. How redundant to warn you silly marketers.
Take care and stand upright